Well, I did it. I've quit my job. Words can't begin to express my feelings. I am scared, sad, excited, happy, worried, shocked, stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. But the most important feeling I have? Peace. I am doing the right thing at the right time. As some of you probably know, I have been struggling with this decision for a long time. I just never felt ready. And wouldn't you know it.... through all that time I spent worrying and crying and stressing over making a decision - every time we submitted applications for private health insurance, I was always denied. Every time. But I remember clearly being at the funeral of the infant grandson of a co-worker of mine last December and I was overwhelmed with the feelings of love, gratitude and knowing that the time had come for me to be home with my babies. As I talked with John about it he was so supportive and said whatever decision I made he loved me and would be there for me. Well, the insurance again became an issue and I was denied all over again. (what in the world.... I've had two babies in two years and still they use "infertility" as an issue to deny me coverage...what?!?!)
Wouldn't you know it a few months ago John received a letter from the Utah Chiropractic Physicians Association announcing that they were starting a group insurance plan. Anyway, to make a long story short, they accepted our family and John's staff and we now have private health insurance. Well, with that I had no more excuses - except that I LOVE MY JOB and especially the people that I get to work with everyday. I am a very social person and I have a very social job. But, it's not about me right now. It's about my family - my kids - and I know I need them as much as they need me. I know I've made the right decision, and I know it's not going to be easy. Being a working mom has been anything but easy. But, I will be there to walk Joseph to the bus stop every morning - and I will be there to welcome him home from school everyday. If he has a rough day - he will get to come home and chill on the couch and not have to go to a babysitter. I will be able to help in his classroom, go on field trips and watch Jackson and Mahlia grow. If someone is sick, I won't feel torn between my heart aching and wanting to be home with my child but knowing the expectations and responsibilities I have at work. I'm choosing my kids, and my family, and me. I will happily accept all "girls night" invitations that come my way!!! I know I'm going to need them! Ü So, here's to my new beginning!
And my dear friends at BYU I love you, I thank you for laughing with me and being my friends. I will look forward to our Friday lunches!
To my family - please be patient, I love you and I want the very best for you. I'm so excited to be a bigger part of your life. You are the loves of my life! I love being your Mommy (and wife!). Ü
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11 comments:
Congratulations! I am jealous.
Laurie
as sad as i am that i won't get to see you everyday (i'm crying!), i am so incredibly happy for you and beyond excited! you know that you are the one person in the office who truly made me feel genuinely welcome when i first started! and i know that everyone else would say that exact same thing! we will for sure still be hanging out and doing lunch no matter what! your family must be soo excited, hooray!!!!!
How fortunate for me, that I get to be your husband. Thank you for your bravery. I know we'll be blessed.
love,
John
I am so proud of you! I know how much you love your job and the people that you work with. But I also know that you will not regret being there for your family. You are a very loving person and they need you!
How about I take your job for 5 years, then I retire and you get your job back when Jackson is in school? What a plan!
I love you, Michelle and you WILL be blessed....your Dad just might need you too!
Whooo-Hooo! I totally benefit from this, too! I love that you will be home now and I can see you during the day! Girls' Nights Out--you bet! I am so excited!
Oh Michelle how happy I am for you and your family! You have made the right decision. With those little children you will have plenty of time to socialize with the other mothers in the same boat. Your family comes first, and with the support of John you will do very well and be so happy and calm. There will still be some stresses, but they will be a different kind and you will enjoy the time. The children grow up so fast. You don't want to miss one thing that they bring in to your life. Every true mother wants to be home with their children, and you have accomplished that now. We are so happy and proud of you. We wish you the best. Enjoy every minute. Our love and prayers and support,
Grandma and Grandpa J.
Wow, believe me I know what a decision that is. I went through the same thing when we moved to Germany, should I look or stay home. But for the first time in the 15 years of marriage I stayed home. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it was hard BUT I wouldn't change a thing. Picking Bailey up from the bus was a spectacular feeling! Plus we have more flexibility and I get to flex my creative budgeting (okay so I'm cheap) skills. Good luck to you! Hey, where is a photo of the new hair do?!
Congrats! I had a hard time leaving my job when Ellie came into our world. Work did provide a good sense of fulfillment and independence that I sometimes miss, but I wouldn't trade my job now for anything. Here's to a new chapter. Cheers
You quit your job?!? Why oh why can't we live by each other so we can have play dates??
Your entries about Joseph are so sweet. It made me tear up! He is such a handsome little man.
Oh my gosh! That is great news!!! You will love being at home with your kids-I finally quit my job in December. I never thought the day would come. It was definitely an adjustment and I had some hard days (mine was a very spur of the moment decision although we had been talking about doing it soon). Congratulations!! Your kids will love having you home!
I can't believe that I missed this until today. It's been just about six weeks for me and so far, so good. Of course this summer has been nuts and I haven't had much time to think about the transition, which is exactly how I needed it to be. I honestly have no idea how I fit a full-time job into my life. The boys are wonderful and I'm already planning our first day at the park with our kids. Let me know when you are available. When is your last day?
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