Maryland 2008

We just got back from our 9 day trip to Maryland. We had a blast! First off, big thank you to the Aznars for a great trip! We love you and miss you already!!!

Here are some pics from our travels.

Above you see our family at the harbor just up the road from the beach house. We had just finished lunch at a wonderful restaurant right on the water.

Then a cute pic of the kids when we took them for "snoballs" otherwise known as "shaved ice" or "snow cones". Ü

Then the fam having lunch in Frederick, Maryland.

Grandma Aznar reading Jackson a story at the beach house.

Mahlia enjoying the tour of Hershey, PA.

Captain Joseph! Joseph got to be captain of the ship on our boat tour of Annapolis.

Amish driving through the streets of Intercourse, PA. (what a name, huh?!?!)

And, check out the sunset we enjoyed every night! We have GOT to get ourselves a beach house!!!

Happy Birthday Joseph

Six years ago at 10:20 p.m. John and I had knelt down and were saying our prayers. All the sudden the phone rang and I jumped up to answer. "Michelle?" It was the social worker of our Birth mother, "yes?" my heart was in my throat... "Congratulations! You're a mommy!" Joseph had been born. 6 weeks early he was a little 5 pounds 3 ounces. His 15 year old birth mother had a very rough delivery and had to be off of all pain medication for 24 hours before she could sign the adoption papers. We had no idea when we would get to see our little boy. Needless to say, John and I didn't get much sleep that night! But, we prayed a lot, thanking our Heavenly Father for answering our prayers and asking for special blessings sent to our baby's birth mother. The next couple days were spent baby shopping. Literally, I am not exaggerating when I say that in one day we spent a good 8 hours in BabiesRUs. I think we drove the staff nuts that day. We had a million questions and had to make some quick decisions. From bassinets to car seats, diapers to bottles, strollers to baby swings - we had our work cut out for us. We were bringing home a baby boy!!!
It was 5 days later when we finally had our placement. That was probably the longest 5 days of our life. We kept worrying that the longer she had with him the harder it would be for her. Thank heaven's when they called Sunday night and told us she'd be signing the papers in the morning and we should be there at 10:00. Monday morning we are all butterflies as we drove to the hospital in SLC. As we approached the doors, we could see our birth mother sitting in a wheelchair waiting for us. She was holding our baby boy- but we didn't dare look. It was kind of awkward to say the least. They took us in to a conference room that happened to be filled with ALL of our birth mother's family. Her parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews. They were all just staring at us as we entered. I can remember it so clearly. They were very kind and expressed their love for Joseph and his birth mother. They had all had a wonderful 5 days with this miracle boy. They had so much love for him and were so excited for us - although heartbroken themselves. They passed the baby around as they each gave him their love and kisses, tears were shed. John and I held each other's hands so tight. We had such tears as we witnessed the expressions of love, gratitude and heartbreak. This was not easy. We knew we had such a responsibility in raising this little boy. We had a lot of people to answer to someday! Ü
Finally it was over and our birth mother handed our sweet boy to me and whispered her love to him and said "Now, here's your mommy..." we were bawling as we finally really got a good look at him. I actually felt him take a deep breath and sigh. It was as if he felt "home".
The next few hours were spent signing paperwork and waiting as Joseph was hooked up to monitors making sure he could keep his oxygen levels and heart rate up for the ride home. Because he was so small this was a requirement by the hospital. Finally, we were on our way home!!! When we arrived we saw my whole family waiting for us! Poor things had been waiting for several hours in the July heat on our front porch! We'd forgotten to leave a key for them to get in! It was beautiful as the next few days everyone came to welcome our new addition. Joseph, you are one loved little boy.
Some of our favorite things about Joseph:
Your curls! You used to get SO much attention for your wonderful white curls!!! People used to ask me all the time if I permed your hair!
Your laugh! You have the BEST laugh! I love it when you laugh!
Your so silly! You are such a funny boy.
Your so smart! You are so good at addition and subtraction, reading, spelling, penmanship, etc...
You are the best son. We love what a good helper you are.
You are the best big brother! You love your little sister and brother SO much! And are always so willing to help with them.
You are so good at baseball and soccer. We love that you love sports so much!
You're a cougar fan! Yes, the Utes are the bad guys!!! (we love you Chris and Celeste!)
Joseph, we are so thankful that Heavenly Father sent you to us to be our son and the big brother for Mahlia and Jackson. You are such a wonderful son and we love you more than words can say. I hope you had a very happy 6th birthday.
Love,
Mommy

To Everything There Is A Season

Well, I did it. I've quit my job. Words can't begin to express my feelings. I am scared, sad, excited, happy, worried, shocked, stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. But the most important feeling I have? Peace. I am doing the right thing at the right time. As some of you probably know, I have been struggling with this decision for a long time. I just never felt ready. And wouldn't you know it.... through all that time I spent worrying and crying and stressing over making a decision - every time we submitted applications for private health insurance, I was always denied. Every time. But I remember clearly being at the funeral of the infant grandson of a co-worker of mine last December and I was overwhelmed with the feelings of love, gratitude and knowing that the time had come for me to be home with my babies. As I talked with John about it he was so supportive and said whatever decision I made he loved me and would be there for me. Well, the insurance again became an issue and I was denied all over again. (what in the world.... I've had two babies in two years and still they use "infertility" as an issue to deny me coverage...what?!?!)
Wouldn't you know it a few months ago John received a letter from the Utah Chiropractic Physicians Association announcing that they were starting a group insurance plan. Anyway, to make a long story short, they accepted our family and John's staff and we now have private health insurance. Well, with that I had no more excuses - except that I LOVE MY JOB and especially the people that I get to work with everyday. I am a very social person and I have a very social job. But, it's not about me right now. It's about my family - my kids - and I know I need them as much as they need me. I know I've made the right decision, and I know it's not going to be easy. Being a working mom has been anything but easy. But, I will be there to walk Joseph to the bus stop every morning - and I will be there to welcome him home from school everyday. If he has a rough day - he will get to come home and chill on the couch and not have to go to a babysitter. I will be able to help in his classroom, go on field trips and watch Jackson and Mahlia grow. If someone is sick, I won't feel torn between my heart aching and wanting to be home with my child but knowing the expectations and responsibilities I have at work. I'm choosing my kids, and my family, and me. I will happily accept all "girls night" invitations that come my way!!! I know I'm going to need them! Ü So, here's to my new beginning!
And my dear friends at BYU I love you, I thank you for laughing with me and being my friends. I will look forward to our Friday lunches!
To my family - please be patient, I love you and I want the very best for you. I'm so excited to be a bigger part of your life. You are the loves of my life! I love being your Mommy (and wife!). Ü

Six Years Ago Today

It was six years ago today that we received the call from Pam at LDS family services that she had a packet for us and we probably wanted to come down ASAP. Funny, I had gotten totally sick at work that day and went home early - so i just happened to be home to receive her call. I immediately got in the car and picked up John from work and we met Pam with huge lumps in our throats. As we opened the large manila folder and read the letter that we had been chosen to be the parents of a little boy tears poured down our cheeks. We knew that this little boy was meant to be ours. That night we spent hours sitting at our computer writing our letter back to the birth mother. I remember it so well. The knowledge that our 8 year wait was finally coming to an end. We were having a boy!!! We prayed to ensure that this was indeed the baby for us and Heavenly Father answered us with the sweet assurance that this was indeed right.

Three days later we found ourselves in downtown SLC heading in to meet with Joseph's birth mother and her parents. I remember so well getting into the elevator and as it was heading up - John and I honestly thought we were going to throw up for the upward motion of the elevator mixed with the major butterflies in our stomachs. I don't think we've ever been so nervous (until 7 days later at the adoption placement - that post will come later Ü). What in the world will we talk about? Will they still like us? Did I wear the right outfit? Will I say the right thing? What is she going to look like?

Next thing we know we are sitting in a circle with a sweet little 15 year old girl and her parents. It was wonderful. More comfortable than we had imagined. One promise that was made? Joseph's blood had to bleed blue - He must be a cougar fan! Oh, no problem there!! Have you met John??? Anyway, here's to 6 years ago today and our sweet little boy. Thanks to our sweet birth mother for the decision she made to go through with her pregnancy and want a life for this precious little boy that included both a father and a mother who were sealed in the temple and would be a forever family. Thank you for your willingness to seek the counsel of our Heavenly Father and then listening to the promptings.

Thank you for bringing us our boy.

Ta Da!!!

Okay, so, you are not going to believe this new product I found. I know I am going to get a major eye roll from many - especially all my dear Iowa friends - but this is a "must have" in my book! I've always had such issues with eating corn straight off the cob! I don't like the little stringy things getting stuck in my teeth, I don't like the butter dripping and getting all over my face - it's just too messy!!! (maybe I'm too messy of an eater? is it just me? uh oh... how embarrassing... i hope not!) I'm not good at using knives - I freak John out anytime I'm cutting things up in the kitchen - therefore I don't just cut it off myself - not worth losing a finger over. This looks like a safe and easy way to do it! I might just head on down to Riverwoods this weekend and hook myself up with one of these babies! anyway, love this idea. hope you like it too!